not cool forever
not cool forever
estefaaano_writes
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I know now,
life keeps the currents running.
I want to listen with my whole body,
to stumble bloody-kneed,
then rise again.
write down my thoughts with fading ink,
because certainty is for the dead.
yesterday i blamed the world
for going numb,
claim everyone’s calcified
into their own beds.
today,
alive with music,
bodies pressed,
screaming ourselves hoarse.
harsh truth of twenties;
you search for your place,
uncertain.
trying on different skins for size,
chasing feelings
till curiosity curls up,
dying slow.
then when paycheck arrives,
you pair off,
build a small life together
with hopes and fears.
one day your children
will ask the hardest questions,
tell them easy stories,
a comfortable lie.
we can’t stay cool forever,
but we can breathe deep,
fill our lungs with this one life.
this is no Heaven.
this is no Hell.
just this messy,
beautiful thing called life.
"not cool forever" achieves such a powerful sense of movement. We start with the "currents running" and end in a state of suspended, beautiful ambiguity: "this is no Heaven. this is no Hell." It’s the journey of a soul shedding its old cynicism. You've perfectly crystallized the anxiety and relief of finding the middle ground.
ReplyDeleteKeep writing these harsh truths estefaaano!!
A wonderfully paced poem. The imagery of "curiosity curls up, dying slow" is hauntingly specific—it perfectly captures the moment youthful exploration gives way to settling.
ReplyDeletethe beautiful, necessary loss of "cool" in exchange for genuine life.
ReplyDeleteanother fantastic read!
Print this out and hang it on my wall, please.
ReplyDeleteSo proud of you for writing this. ❤️
Honestly, this is the most real thing I've read all week. I especially love the contrast between "blamed the world for going numb" and then being "alive with music, bodies pressed." It's like a snapshot of a perfect Friday night vs. a tough Monday morning. The whole "uncertain" vibe hits hard. Great job, man.
ReplyDeleteSuperb pacing and emotional architecture is all I can say. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
ReplyDeleteI feel like I needed to read this tonight.
ReplyDeleteI thought so too.
Delete"Not cool forever" is honest in a way that hurts a little, but in a good way.
As someone a little older, I can confirm the "trying on different skins" eventually leads to finding the one that fits enough. Your poem is a fantastic reminder to enjoy the stumble.
ReplyDeleteThat writing with "fading ink" is beautiful. Likr even our temporary thoughts hold value, even if they aren't eternal truths. Love this!
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
ReplyDeleteThis is the most honest poem about turning 30 I've ever read, estefaaano_writes. You start out blaming the world for everyone being 'calcified into their own beds,' and then you realize, nope, the real choice is to breathe deep and scream yourself hoarse. I'll take the noise and the whole body listening, thanks! 🤘
ReplyDelete"'Certainty is for the dead." 🤯
ReplyDeleteDrop the mic, estefaaano_writes! That line is a whole mood and a life philosophy.
damn! hits me right in the nostalgia bone.
ReplyDeleteUhm sir, is this about me? 😅
ReplyDeleteI felt that harsh truth about the cool kid phase ending.
We're all trying on different skins, and it's okay if we're uncertain. Let's just breathe deep and fill our lungs with this one life!
ReplyDeleteThis poem is a beautiful affirmation. 💖
It's scary, but you realize building that small life together with hopes and fears is the real adventure.
ReplyDeletethe ultimate rejection of cynicism!
ReplyDeleteyou acknowledge the desire to blame the world, but then you choose the music, the bodies, the screaming.
you choose aliveness.
It's true, we can't stay cool forever. But we can be honest. And your poem, estefaaano_writes, is brutally honest in the most beautiful way. It's a permission slip to stop performing and just breathe deep. Such a perfect, grounding close.
ReplyDeletesuch a relatable poem about ditching the "cool" facade for real life. it speaks to that moment when you realize the messy stuff is the best stuff.
ReplyDeleteThe chaos is the point!
ReplyDeleteStop waiting for the world to make sense and just stumble bloody-kneed into the next thing.
Turn up the volume on this one! 🔊
ReplyDeleteScream it from the rooftops! We can't stay cool forever, but we can breathe deep, fill our lungs with this one life! Let's choose the mess, the music, and the whole body listening.
ReplyDeleteThe real rebellion is choosing commitment over chaos.
ReplyDeleteestefaaano_writes: we can't stay cool forever, but who cares?!
ReplyDeleteestefaaano_writes, I swear, you get inside my head! "Certainty is for the dead" is going to be my new mantra.
ReplyDeleteI was chasing feelings for years. Now I'm building that "small life together with hopes and fears," and honestly, it’s way better than trying to stay "cool"
ReplyDeleteI keep coming back to
ReplyDelete"This is no Heaven. this is no Hell. just this messy, beautiful thing called life."
I think it just strips away all the drama and leaves you with the real truth.
No hyperbole, just pure acceptance. 🫂
Time to embrace the simple life where I can breathe deep.
ReplyDeleteThis poem feels like a beautiful progression from your earlier work. It’s less about the longing (like in your rain poem) and more about the acceptance. You're settling into the honesty, estefaaano_writes, and it’s gorgeous.
ReplyDeletelive, laugh, love estefaaano_writes!
ReplyDeleteI'm sending this to my fiancé!
ReplyDeleteThe poem perfectly captures the quiet courage it takes when you "pair off" and choose to build something real. It makes me feel so ready for the hopes and fears of our small life together.
The part about "stumbling bloody-kneed, then rise again" reminds me of that time we tried to hike in flip-flops. 😂
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, estefaaano_writes, that's what growth looks like. I'm so proud of how you always choose to rise, even when it's messy. Love you!
I love that you don't sugarcoat the transition.
ReplyDeleteThe twenties are messy!
The children asking the hardest questions... I've been there, estefaaano_writes. My daughter asked why I didn't become a musician. I told her an 'easy story.' It's complicated, but necessary. Your poem captures that bittersweet parental moment perfectly. It's the truth of protecting their world.
ReplyDeleteI literally teared up at the part about the children. My 4-year-old just asked me why the sky gets dark, and I gave him this simple, magical answer instead of explaining rotation or orbits.
ReplyDelete"Tell them easy stories, a comfortable lie."
It hit me that I'm doing exactly what you wrote—protecting his little world for just a bit longer. Beautifully put, estefaaano_writes.
Oh man, "alive with music, bodies pressed, screaming ourselves hoarse" took me straight back to 2014.
ReplyDeleteI spent so many nights in sweaty basements thinking that was the only way to feel alive.
Reading this now, from my quiet living room with a cat on my lap... I realize I'm happier now, but I'm so glad I had those nights.
Thanks for the nostalgia trip estefaaano!
oh we're all sharing fun stories huh.
ReplyDeletehere's mine.
"then when paycheck arrives, you pair off." Just burst out laughing man. It’s so true it hurts! I used to swear I’d never work a 9-to-5, and now here I am, excited about my dental benefits and my weekend plans with my partner. It felt like 'selling out' before, but your poem makes it feel like growing up.
And honestly? I love my "small life."
I'm in the middle of the harsh truth of twenties right now and it sucks. I feel like I'm trying on a different personality every week just to see what sticks.
ReplyDeleteIt's really comforting to read this and know that it's just a phase, and that eventually, the curiosity curls up into something more stable. needed this today.
"write down my thoughts with fading ink." this is why I stopped using permanent markers in my sketchbook. I used to be so obsessed with making things permanent, but life isn't like that. so powerful!
ReplyDeleteThe energy in this poem reminds me that even in struggle, there’s life and connection.
ReplyDeleteI read this when I felt numb, and it woke me up.
ReplyDeleteThe idea of “trying on skins” is such a vivid way to describe growing up.
ReplyDeleteSo much truth here. Life isn’t perfect, and that’s where beauty lives.
ReplyDeleteI just love how estefaaano_writes don’t sugarcoat the hard parts of life but still find the beauty in the chaos.
ReplyDeleteYour words reminded me of all the times I wanted to scream but felt too tired to. This poem gave that feeling a home.
ReplyDeleteSometimes the hardest part isn’t falling, but the courage to rise again.
ReplyDelete“Not cool forever” speaks to the kind of ache that words usually fail to reach. We’re all works in progress, wrestling with fears and hopes in this wild, unpredictable life.
ReplyDeleteI read this poem while sitting in a crowded room full of strangers, and somehow it made me feel connected. Like we’re all out here searching for belonging in the middle of uncertainty. Your words are a quiet rebellion against the pressure to “have it all figured out.”
ReplyDeleteThis poem makes me want to scream and cry all at once.
ReplyDeleteWow, this hit me deep. Your words reminded me of those nights in my twenties when I felt completely lost but somehow alive. The line about “stumble bloody-kneed” makes me think of all the times I fell hard but got back up, bruised but still standing.
ReplyDeleteI love how honest and human this is—like a conversation with a close friend.
ReplyDeleteLife might not be Heaven or Hell, but your poem makes me thankful for this messy ride.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I'm still 'trying on different skins for size' even though I'm past my twenties. But reading 'certainty is for the dead' makes me feel better about it. Maybe we're supposed to keep changing?
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I just bought our first house. We were stressed about money and the future, but reading 'pair off, build a small life together with hopes and fears' made me tear up. It reminded me that this scary part is actually the beautiful part.
ReplyDeleteoh estefaaano_writes, your words are a balm for the soul.
ReplyDelete