shut up

 shut up

by: estefaaano_writes 

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Smiling with knives,

Literal and figurative.

Wondering when will 

My thoughts ever shut up.

Sleepless nights.

Stone mattress.

Staring at the ceiling, 

Still confused.

Conversations took us everywhere.

Thinking about some things 

I wished you said to me.

Thinking about these before sleep. 

At home, 

I’m a night owl.

When I’m away, 

I’m an insomniac who just mixed 

a bunch of cocaine into some red bull 

and took a spin on a mechanical bull.

Lying in my bed, 

Wide awake.

Trying to convince myself the world won’t end.

I’m a parody of myself,

Staring into the dark woods, 

Watching fireflies pop in and out of view.

My own mental happy place;

If I drift away, 

This is what I’ll comeback to.