MISERY 2

 

misery pt.2

by: estefaaano_writes

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Desolated.

Have you ever talked to someone out of boredom?

Not for any sort of human discourse.

Not for genuine connection,

But to fill the void of a restless invention?

His gaze, a summer sky once clear, 

Now veiled in clouds of hurt untold,

Each unspoken word a shard of ice, 

Piercing the warmth we used to hold.

With a slow face, and suppressed excitement.

Words came out of nowhere,

Came sooner out than I anticipated.

Meaningless whispers, I didn’t mean them at all.

He wasn’t one for emptying his face of expressions.

With guilt, I firmly grabbed his hand and laced my fingers with his.

Resented and feared any signs of detachment.

Felt the trickle of disloyalty and guilt;

Seemed to be the order of the day.

A bitter aftertaste,

Guilt's heavy cloak, a burden I couldn't waste.

Minutes ticked by, draining the color from his face,

I cried for five minutes straight.

Cried without trying to suppress any of the noisy manifestations of grief and confusion.

I was scared. 

Lonesome inside my head.

With all the convulsive throat sounds, I finally stopped.

The storm subsided, each ragged breath a beat, 

Without the painful, knife-like intakes of breath that usually follow a violent outburst.

When I stopped, 

It was a momentous change of polarity inside my mind. 

Immediate pacifying effect on my body.

Strange feeling; but a good one.

Saw my reflection, 

Face is tear-streaked but quiet expressionless; 

Almost vacuous.

Beneath hollow eyes.

Thought to myself, 

"A pretty crier," I sigh,

Reflecting not just moments, 

But a hollow sky.

After all this emptiness, is this all that's mine?

The question hangs heavy, an echo in the fading sign.